Wow, I haven’t been on tumblr in what feels like years. I’ve travelled Europe, passed another year of med school, moved out of the house I grew up in and fallen even more in love with James since then. Never has so much changed in such a short period of time. I feel so blessed to be exactly where I want to be, surrounded by friends I love, a mother who adores me and a boyfriend who is so supportive. Positive mentality is the only way forward for me now, it terrifies me how unhappy I used to be. I can’t understand how dark I used to feel now I feel like this, my whole outlook on life has changed.
I’ve never witnessed anyone as close to death as the man I saw today. The doctor was telling this man that he was really worried about him, he was going to die. I can’t see myself ever telling anyone that. I found it so hard to stay strong in that situation, I don’t understand how the patient didn’t break down in tears being told he was so close to dying. The doctor handled it so well, being so honest and empathetic to the patient. I could tell he genuinely really cared. I think pain must mask the fear of death in those last few hours/days. He was only 60 years old, think he will stick with me for a very long time.
I’m feeling mentally strong for the first time in so long. I’m on top of my work, and fitness, without my relationship and friendships suffering. I am so determined to pass my exams I have never worked so hard in my life. I am glad I’ve spoken about the future with James, and know that in a few years, I will be able to come home to him. I’m so glad to have been in such a rewarding, stable relationship with someone I love so much for so long. Positive vibes only ✌🏼️
